(Paging through Entries))
provides a beacon of light
the portal opens
From my vantage point at the bottom of the trail, the goal rivals Mt Everest. Mary’s ascension into heaven was certainly more plausible than my ever realizing the halfway point. That stupid slogan I keep hearing around the tables, (you’ll be truly amazed before you are halfway through) keeps ringing in my ears. AA has a phrase or slogan to fit every situation imaginable. And even though I may be taking this one out of context, it sure fits my frame of mind today. The path is full of twists and turns, and who knows what other obstacles, as it wends its way into the unknown. Those who have gone before me insist that the rewards along the journey, far outweigh any scrapes or slips I might encounter along the way. Dare I believe them?
Several months later
Beginning to understand the importance of journaling. As I flip through several pages, I can literally see a changed perspective that must have been lurking beneath my inability to reflect on the positive. But, here on these pages, it jumps out at me in a beautiful bold font that spells progress.
The one year mark
Wow! Can’t believe I’ve been documenting this awesome experience for over a year. Page after page of blended successes, disappointments, and mini-failures. Mini, simply because they didn’t take me back out. Tear stained entries that led to frantic calls to my sponsor, just a page behind a smiling emoji that commits to memory a joyous recollection that begged to be penned.
Now the real work begins. Hope I’m ready. Finally, comfortable with the program, trust my sponsor, and am ready to work the steps. Fear and uncertainty be gone. I refuse to be discouraged. The proof is in the rooms of AA. My life will continue to improve as long as I am willing to move forward. God knows, I never want to go through that first year of sobriety again.
Journal number three
But who’s counting? My life is a wonderful conglomeration of gifted treasures, blundering missteps, serendipities moments, heartfelt experiences, lessons learned, and divine intervention. And lest I ever forget, it is readily available at the turn of a page. My journal, my life.